Text by: Jim Williams 

More often than not one spins the "Wheel of Fortune".



In the case of Margie Bannister, the "Wheel of Fortune" spun her.

Through two toss ups and 1 round, Margie has no money. But, alas she has a chance to finally make hay in...



The Mystery Round.



As you can see, Margie has done well to this point. The puzzle seems fairly obvious at this point, and she has $3,150 to her name. She keeps on spinning and lands on...



Top Dollar Value!

She should probably call for an "R" here to get an additional $10,500.



"D!"



Eh, there's the obvious D in the puzzle.

There are multiple Rs and Ys that could have given her more money. Perhaps, we should just chalk this miscue up to nerves.

On her next spin she lands on $600 and calls an "R" and gets the puzzle solved to the following point.



Not content, Margie spins once more and lands on...





Wait. Who the heck let ponies into this article?

Anyway, Margie calls for an "L", which is in the puzzle. When you add the $1,000 for the "L" in "Huckleberry", Margie would be gambling $9,450 on a 50/50 shot that the underside of the mystery wedge has $10,000 on it. Surely, she'll take the $1,000 and move on.



"I came to win, Pat. I'm gonna pick it up."



And I bet you know what happens next, Dr. Rumack.





First ponies, then Dr. Rumack, and now Ron Popeil?!? What is this article becoming?

But, to Mr. Set It & Forget It's point, we're not done with Margie's misfortunes.

Let's go to the next puzzle which just so happens to be a...



ZOMG! PRIZE PUZZLE! B-A-N-A-N-A-Z! LMFAO!

Well, Margie has another meltdown. After her competitors hit "Bankrupt" and "Lose a Turn" respectively, Margie completes the puzzle to the following point.



Margie has $3,900, and with hesitation solves the puzzle.





LaBarron follows by correctly solving the puzzle, and wins a $5,065 trip to Hawaii just for knowing how to properly say the word "picturesque".



In the end, Margie received the house minimum of $1,000 for her troubles, but more importantly she wins the latest GSG "Dumb Answer of the Week".

What? You were expecting some sort of graphic or one liner relating Margie's poor play to Pat Sajak's admission to being drunk on the job back in the day?



There! Happy now?!? He's hittin' the bottle!