DAotW 4-29-12

Dumb Answer of the Week
What Happens When You Speak Before You Think

April 22rd - April 29th, 2012

Text by: Jim Williams

The latest DAotW comes from a recent episode of Spike's "Repo Games".

Last summer, "Repo Games" filmed episodes in my backyard here in Southern New Jersey. Yes, they were filming just a hop, skip and a jump away from the Jersey shore. And, when one thinks of the Jersey shore (thanks to MTV at least), you think of complete and utter douchebag guido tools.

And here's our latest tool...err...contestant. His name is James from Westville, NJ, and his 2009 Dodge Ram is up for repo.

Somebody get the gabagool!

James' wife acts as the voice of reason and calms him down. He eventually consents to playing, and it's game time.

So, Tom Detone tries to break the ice and ask just what James was doing when the Repo Games crew came by.

"I was sittin' there with my son watchin' TV. 'Blue's Clues'. 'Blue's Clues'. YEAH!"

Let's move on. First question.

James and his wife latch onto the "90210" end of the question and start spitting out "90210" character names.

Tom then asks the question again and James in absolute deadpan style responds...

Brenda?

Eventually they settle on Tori Spelling which is...

"Incorrect."

"Incorrect?"

"Incorrect!"
"It's wrong!"

So, not only does James not know who Megan Fox is, he fails to understand the meaning of the word "incorrect". Next question!

James claims he watches the show, but starts spouting off "Williams", "Montel", "Steve" and the like.

"Say your alphabets. A-B-C-D..."

I really feel sorry for this couple's kid right now.

James eventually settles on "Thompson".

"The answer you want to go with is 'Maury Thompson'."

(

*GASP* "It is right!"

No, you (CENSORED) dolt, he's confirming what your husband's answer is.

So, James goes with "Thompson" which of course is...

Thank you, Chibi Edge. Of course, the correct answer was "Povich". So, now he needs to get 3 in a row to save his truck. Next question!

Come on, it's poker! This guy looks like he plays poker all the time.

Tom more specifically says that it's five cards of the same suit.

"Diamonds?"

Alright, I'm convinced that this guy is the baby daddy of one of the male stars of "Jersey Shore". All juice and no brains (or balls for that matter).

Eventually, James spits out "Ace", "Jack", "Queen", and "King" and is on the right track.

"James, it's not the...you have to have five of the same cards. I think you have to have all 5 kings to make a...to make a...um...to go out."

It's plain to see these two were meant for each other.

"Ace of spades?"

Where's Lemmy in a drug and alcohol fueled rage when I need him?

YOU FOOL! An ace, king, queen, jack, and ten of the same suit constitutes a royal flush. You know what, I'm sorry. I made a bad assumption. James and the Mrs. probably don't know what the word "constitutes" means.

So, the Dodge Ram is good as gone. And what does James do?

"Let's go get the f*****' truck, man!"

Tom gets the last laugh.

"Your truck's gone, dude. And you're gonna chase after it in a Mini Cooper? *Laughs hysterically*"

Cue Richard Bey in 3...2...

Amen!