#34: The Get The Picture Rap Special
Almost As Bad As Vanilla Ice's Rock/Rap Album

Nickelodeon: (1991)

In the early 80s, one of the most popular songs was Sugarhill Gang's Rapper's Delight.  Out of that song, it introduced mainstream America to the musical style that was Rap.  Out of that, it grew fame to Run DMC, The Furious Five, LL Cool J, Ice T, NWA among a whole slew of others.  Heading into 1990, two rappers hit the big time with their respective hits.  One of them was MC Hammer, who currently is more notorious for going broke and being a minister.  The other one was Vanilla Ice, and the less said about what happened to him, the better.  With all of the rap that has come out, Get The Picture decided to put on a rap special.  While it sounded ok in theory, the way it was executed...well...let's say that it went over as well as Vanilla Ice trying to worm his way out of ripping off Under Pressure by Queen.

I mean, when the first thing you hear is Henry J, the show's announcer, sounding more white than he normally is, then you know that you're ready for some painful watching.  Just listen to this.

Henry J Acting Black, but being white

I mean, it doesn't get any better from there as we're treated to Mike coming out looking like a horrible mishmash of Flava Flav, Ice Cube, Mr. T and a reject from Bel Biv Divoe.  He just looks absolutely stereotypical here and not even a good stereotype at that.  I don't even know where to go after that.  So, I might as well just start talking about the actual show, because the interviews went about normal, well as normal as they normally go when you're talking in a rap facade and trying to act more Bostonian than you normally are.

The questions, also got changed to be more hip, mainly using the words mixmasters, fly girls, livin' large among other weird things.  There are certain things as taking things far enough where it doesn't get too campy, but then there are instances like the way the questions were mainly phrased would make you feel like you're watching The Whitest Kids U Know.  And boy, the questions writers this episode are probably the whitest kids working for Nickelodeon.  All goes like normal until someone hits the Power Surge.


Apparently, someone had the brilliant idea to give Mike brass knuckles with the words Power Surge on them.  I mean, the amount that went into that set piece could have funded another 5 episodes of this show or something like that.  I don't even recall watching certain rap videos with stuff like that being worn by someone back then.  Who the hell goes around with stuff like that on all the time.  It just looks, feels and reeks of lameness.  They are trying to be hip but it just looks like they are on the verge of hip replacement more than being fresh or cool with the popular thing then.  Oh if that's not bad enough.


I swear to god, that is the most hideous outfit that I've ever seen in my life, and I'm also including those butt ugly Slime Time outfits as well.  The Outfit is a weird Genie top that he stole from the I Dream Of Jeannie archives, A Get the Picture medallion, and he's got on the baggy MC Hammer pants as well.  That's not hip, that's just something that you'd wear for Halloween, or better yet a 5th grade costume party that you were forced to go to because your parents wanted you out of the house so that they can have a quiet few hours at home.  Trust me, I know how that feels.  What makes this outfit worse, is the fact that Henry...I mean for this episode DJ Henry J continues to act and speak whiter than most mortal men.  As proof, just listen to this conversation from DJ Henry J and MC Mike from when they go to commercial Break.

More White Guy acting black goodness

Oh dear.  Normally, this is where most sane people would stop watching.  But I'm going to continue, just so you don't have to.

The show continues on with more facades & actual rap questions, like "ABC is a 6 man rap group who's first album was Chillin' at the Playground.  What does ABC stand for?"  So, the questions got less stupid, but still its still Mike desperately trying to be hip, and failing miserably.  Although I didn't talk about this earlier, what the hell is up with his podium?  Just because he's got a blinged up fish saying "Yo!" and called it Video Sole.  I guess the person that thought up that got that from the Wink Martindale Book of Puns Vol. 2 (1983-1989).  The pun sucks, but it's not High-Worthy.  The rest of the game goes on like normal with more faux-hip acting questions like, "YO YO YO, name 2 of the four states of matter."  It's at this time that I'm thankful that after any more damage done to my cerebral cortex, the game ends.

Mike shows the kids and saying that they are the hippest in the land...well, let's just say that out of them, Mike, Henry J, the Writers and even Robb Edward Morris, who was long fired since this episode aired, then yes, they are the hippest.  The kids went on to the bonus game of Mega Memory, with the subject being Rap and Wrapping.

Hmm, out of all of these 9 things, Queen Latifah is the one with the most street cred.  Amazing. 

The Kids wound up winning the game with about 4-5 seconds left on the clock and got $600 in Cash, A Magnavox boom box, a Yashica camera & a Trip to Universal Studios In Orlando Florida.  As Mike displays the Surge knucks and says his goodbyes.

Yo!  Dawgs...forget it.  What could have been a good idea was ruined by poor execution.  Rap was very popular back in the day, and this could have been a celebrity special of sorts with one rapper and one civilian contestant, sorta like what they did with the Celebrity Weeks on Double Dare back in the day.  It would have been fine, if Henry J would have just stayed out of MC Hammer's, Barbara Eden's and Geoffery Darby's wardrobe; Mike O'Malley didn't act like he was Spike Lee mixed with Busta Rhymes and the questions didn't sound dumber than Vanilla Ice's agent..  Get the Picture was a good show, that didn't need the stupid special eps like this one, but there were better produced ones like the Sports Show & the Sleepy time one.  This, is just trash and should never be brought up again.  Can we please get something good that fuses Game Shows and Rap?

Why me?

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