#40: Carnie Wilson
She Sucked The Fun Away & Couldn't Hold On For One More Day

Host: GSN Live (various times in 2008 & 2009)
The Newlywed Game (April 2009 - July 2010)

Ok, I should preface before I start that I like Carnie Wilson as a person.  I think she was talented in the 90s group, Wilson-Phillips, and she appears to be a loving, caring mother.  However, she is very well known for being a physical illogical situation.  I mean she was fat, thin, got fat again after Wilson Phillips broke up and disappeared off the face of the earth, got Gastric Bypass and had it aired on national TV for the entire world to see, then she lost about 150 or so pounds from that and posed nude for Playboy.  But after all of that, she gave birth to her first child Lola.  But then she gained 80 pounds in baby weight and went on Celebrity Fit Club and lost 22 pounds.  Then after the show, she worked on trying to get the weight off some more, but in 2008 she ballooned back up and was publically ridiculed by shock jocks, tabloids, and TV shows that call themselves, "Info-tainment". 

Now in 2009, she decided to take a new route in life.  She ignored all the haters, and continued to get herself back into shape.  Not only that, she also got pregnant with her second child, Luci.  She started making more appearances on TV and radio and got involved with GSN and their live block, GSN Live.

When Carnie was on GSN Live, she was a decent enough hostess.  She split hosting duties with Fred Roggin in promoting various shows on GSN & doing the games with call-in contestants.  She did ok, but nothing really spectacular.  But then again when the best permanent host of GSN Live was Fred Roggin, then you've got problems.  But that's another story for another day.  Apparently Michael Davies, producer of such shows as Millionaire, 2-Minute Drill and GSN's Chain Reaction & Grand Slam, thought she would make the perfect host for his reboot of The Newlywed Game.

Now, although I'm not really one to make excuses for someone's hosting, I have to.  Live accounts from various people said that she was very personable, very connective with the contestants, dirty but more importantly fun to watch.  So, why am I bringing this up?  Well, Michael Davies decided to break one of the few cardinal rules of game shows, that rule being "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." 

He decided to add a bonus game to a 4-decade old format that brought back old couples to win prizes that were cheaper than the prize given away in the front game.  So, to fit this in, the editors had to cut out most, if not all of Carnie's banter between the contestants, resorting to having her come off on TV as nothing more than a perky question reader.  So, Season 1 was pretty much a wash thanks to yet another bone-headed decision by the same guy who thought adding a clock would be the best thing for Millionaire, that Dylan Lane would make a great game show host for Chain Reaction, & several other dumb moves.  But then again, like the GSN Live hosts, those are another stories for another day.

So, when the bonus game got dropped in Season 2, you'd expect we'd see what the live audience in Season 1 was raving about.  Well, no.  Unfortunately, I just found her to be more annoying than most.  She sounded like the uber-fan girl in the 90s that was so eagerly awaiting the 2nd Wilson-Phillips album so that she could stop playing Hold On to the annoyance of her family & friends.  The way that she would ask the questions, it would be like she was more interested in the men sometimes than the answers themselves, or the stories afterwards, even though she has been married for the past 10 years.  Anyways, what we expected to see now that the bonus game got axed, so we got to see what Carnie actually was.  Perverted, but most of all, horrid.

I mean, Carnie Wilson was so annoying when it came to the questions that she came off so syrupy sweet that it actually made me want to go back in time and just listen to Pet Sounds.  Really, I would think Brian Wilson would have made a much more palatable host.  I mean, at least he knows when to turn off the happy and turn into serious.  But, it didn't end there for Carnie.  Nope.  Instead she would sometimes hit on the contestants, even saying that she could give sexual advice and demonstrations to couples who need said help.  I mean, is she a game show hostess or someone who's a passion party advisor?  Not only that, when it came to regular style questions, she just seemed uninterested in the game.  So, basically she wanted to host the show so she can get first hand info on the dirty little secrets of couples.  Wow.  What a perverted 40-something mom. 

I bet she was corpsing when she had to read the regular questions.  Wait, Carnie is Corpsing???

And that they did.

So, on 2 episodes this past year, Carnie's position as host was usurped by The Man.  That man being Bob Eubanks, the original host of The Newlywed Game.  What makes this worse, is that the fan approval for the show went up when Eubanks was hosting it and Carnie was either playing the game with her family or she had no presence on the show whatsoever.  I guess when viewers saw Eubanks on the show, it was familiar to them, and it felt right.  Not only did it prove to people that Bob still had it, but it kinda proved how bad Carnie was.  I mean, he actually cared about the questions that didn't involve body parts and whoopie.  That's the sign of a good host.

But back to Carnie.  In between the 2nd and 3rd seasons of The Newlywed Game, she did an ill-conceived reality show called Carnie Wilson: Unstapled.  This would be an in-depth look at the life of Carnie Wilson: Mother, Host, Wife, DDP Whipping Girl, and baked goods pioneer.  What the plan was is that they would pay her X amount of dollars for Y amount of days.  I forget the actual numbers, nor do I care about the actual numbers.  The reason being is that Carnie's reality show started a rift between her and GSN.  Y amount of days became Z amount of days and she is currently suing for what she thinks is unpaid fees among other things.  So, after Season 3 and with Season 4 starting to cast, she announced that she couldn't hold on for one more day and decided to go away from The Newlywed Game.

So, with the show looking for a new host, I just hope that someone who isn't as filthy-minded and someone who can actually be bothered to care about the non-sexual questions the show has.  I mean, you can't go full-bore on one subject and completely don't care about the others.  She had the potential to being an ok host from her GSN Live stuff and I wanted to like her, I really did.  But she has to care about the entire subjects that she has to ask about, and she doesn't.  Plus, she sometimes didn't go for the jugular like other hosts not named Bob Eubanks did.  I mean, Paul Rodriguez, the worst Newlywed Game host to ever take the podium would go for the jugular.  She just wanted to be friendly with everybody and yet somehow get off on the scintilating details of the couples sex lives.  That's what irks me the most.  She half-assed her hosting.  So, that's why she's on here.

I see why people think she was a good host, the fact that she seemed to care, and had a bubbly, contagious personality to her.  Also, she didn't put herself over the show, like what Paul Rodriguez did. I just didn't see that bubbly personality to her.  As a matter of fact, I just found her annoying most of the time.  So, if you liked her hosting of the show, that's fine.   I just have a differing opinion, that's all.

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