#64: Attack Of The Zeroaires Part 2
The Return Of the Llama-Momma's!

Compilation Induction

Has it been 11 1/2 years since Millionaire invaded our TV sets?  Wow.  I'd like to think we've seen over 3,000 or so people try their luck in the hot seat or standing center stage, behind the Hot Desk answering multiple choice questions for tons of cash.  More often than not, people won large amounts on the show.  However, we're here to honor those that blew it on easy questions and won nothing.  That's right, it's the 2nd installment of Attack of the Zeroaires.  Now, let's kick things off with a guy who I absolutely forgot about when doing this originally.

His name is Paul Weir Galm.  He's from Portland Oregon and he and his wife are former attorneys who left their jobs to just do a bunch of traveling.  A noble idea at the time.  I mean, while being a lawyer might bring in humongous paychecks, it's also quite draining.  So, he's on the show to maybe do some more traveling.  His first question reads as follows.

Which of these phrases is a common way of saying, "I can't take it anymore!"

A: That's the last stick, B: That's the last leaf, C: That's the last straw, D: I'm moving to Canada

Well, there's much to be said about the state of affairs in the United States where you see many people wanting to move to Canada.  But this isn't about political affairs or financial affairs.  It's about this traveller who decides to speak before he thinks and utters....

Yeah, I don't know if that's the case in Zanzibar or Madagascar.  But he's the traveler, so he'd know.  But here in the good ol' USA...

that's what we call an epic fail.  That's the last straw, not the last stick, but it was the last stick for him as that's what he leaves with...well, he had to pick it up outside.  Anyways, now with that taken care of, it's time to move on with our parade of patheticness with a royal tinge to it.

Her name is Phillis Straka from Kettering, Ohio.  She seems like a nice, bright lady.  Very booksmart and well read, so I think she could do well here.  She does prove that right as she nails the first three without any problems.  Then she runs into this one.

Which of these performers adopted the title "Sir" Without ever having being knighted in England?

A: Sir Elton John, B: Sir Mix-a-Lot, C: Sir Mick Jagger, D: Sir Paul McCartney

Well, seeing how 3 of these guys are from England and the other one is from the royal city of Seattle, it seemed like a slam dunk that she would have said B.

I guess, I was wrong.  I'm guessing she thought that Mick Jagger was never knighted, so there ya go.

But Unfortunately, she was proven wrong as she is exiled from the chamber of knowledge that is the Millionaire Soundstage without even a tinge of gold bars, or even a CD of all of these guys collaborating on a song called "Candle in the Wind Got Back in the streets once upon a long ago."

Hey!  I pay you to do that to other peoples bad jokes, not mine.

Anyways, let's take a trip to the 10th Anniversary Special and meet our next inductee.

Her name is Ellen Gaines.  She is a gym teacher and she seems like a smart lady, and she appeared to be on Night 6.  She made it to the hot seat and breezed through her first four questions.  She gets to the $1,000 question and sees this under the category of "Crossword Clues".

In a New York Times Election Day puzzle, which one these answers had the clue "Blue State" and not "Red State"?

A: Melancholy, B: Communism, C: Outrage, D: Insolvency

I mean, its easy to figure out as communism was the red menace, Angry = red and Insolvency is red something.  Maybe it had to do something with Red Sonja, I don't know.  Anyways, having to deal with being Melancholy every day and taking medications for it, I know it's A.

Well, I guess this is what they mean by those that can't do teach and those that can't teach teach gym.  So, when she said that....

Regis quickly dismissed her from his classroom and she gets sent to the bench where the smelly towels are.

Now seeing how this is a game show website, I think having someone blow a really easy game show question would be worth having on here.  So let me introduce you to the 4th and final inductee in this years Attack of the Zeroaires.

Her name is Kathy Hempel.  She is from Arlington Heights, Illinois and I don't have much information aside from that.  Now being on a game show, she should know some basic game show questions, like this one.

On the game show, Wheel of Fortune, how much does a vowel cost?

A: $50, B: $100, C: $250, D: $500.

Well, it's been the same amount since 1975.  So if you've seen at least one episode of Wheel of Fortune, which she has said she has when she returned on a losers show, she should have gotten this one right.

On second thought, she went with her gut instead of her head.  Now to be fair, on Bob Goen's version, vowels were $100, but that was when they had $50 and $75 spaces on the wheel.  But, I doubt the writers were thinking of that.

And I was right.  She leaves with a Bankrupt.....But there is a happier ending than the last one.  She was invited back during a special $0 winners week and how did she do?

I'd say she had a happy ending.  And thus, she can now afford to buy 1,000 vowels, or if going by her logic earlier, 2,500 vowels.  We'll have more Dumb Zeroaires in the future, and that's our final answer on that subject.

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