#89: Love Triangle
2010-2011 Patrick Wayne Award Winner

GSN: (April 2011 - September 2011)

GSN over the past couple of years has put on some of the worst original programming in the networks 16 year history.  In a span of 3 years, it has produced such bombs as Big Saturday Night, Hidden Agenda, Instant Recall, Late Night Liars (which was a good show, but was a bomb ratings wise), and the Heaven's Gate version of GSN Live where it lasted for 6 hours interspersed between good programming with hosts that varied from good, serviceable hosts in Fred Roggin, Todd Newton, Heidi Bohay to some of the worst in Jai Rodriguez, Bob Guiney and Bo Griffin.

But 2011 seems to be where the crap just hit the fan at full-force.  While Improvaganza was a good show, it just didn't really fit with the vision of GSN being the Game Show Network and the 7th Season of High Stakes Poker was met with lukewarm reception due to Gabe Kaplan being replaced by Norm MacDonald and Kara Scott still annoying the daylights out of everyone.  But there was one show that stood head and shoulders above all the bad shows that GSN has done this year, and maybe for the past decade.  Yes, this could top DJ Games and Vegas Weddings Unveiled.  You take a polarizing figure in daytime TV, you give them a show which would only be seen on Maury Povich, you exploit every single thing about them, put them through a lie detector and then expect a button press to decide their future?  From the depths of hell in both GSN Originals and stuff that JD Roth had a hand in for adult programming, I bring to you...Love Triangle.

I'll get this out of the way first and foremost.  The host of this show is Wendy Williams.  She is famously known for being a loudmouth talk show host on both radio and television.  I guess she got famous by spouting off dirt about various African-American celebrities.  So not only is she an overly dickish talk show host, she's also a douchebag in real life on the radio.  At least she's consistent in her brash personality, even though she does look like a plastic surgery experiment gone horribly wrong.  I would like to think that for a dating type show she'd be ok, but unfortunately she'd rather laugh at her own pathetic jokes rather than do the show.  I should also mention that herself and her husband, Kevin Hunter are also the Executive Producers of the show as well.  So, seeing how she is morally bankrupt as well, and dragging her philandering husband into the mix, seemed like the perfect recipe for disaster and stuff to get off with in bed for the next year.

I wish I could just stop here, but then again I know I must press on, even though I don't want to.

The format goes as follows. One person is in a love triangle and has the other two sides of the love triangle with them, more often than not they have very dissimilar personalities or body types or ages.  I guess that's because variety is definitely the spice of life..  They go through the usual opening spiel of why they are in a love triangle, why the one person loves each of them and how they met and all that fun gooey stuff.  Right away it looks and feels like a really bad episode of Maury or if you want to go further back, the Richard Bey show.  After about 7 minutes of pointless talk, we then talk about The Past...

And one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to shows like this.  Pointless title cards when the set or bits and pieces of the set aren't being moved at all.

Basically, Wendy exposes some of the 2 other sides of the love triangles dirty little secrets.  She said in an interview that these would be the reason why people would tune in, however it was one of the reasons why people tuned out of this show.  Most of the secrets were normally very sexual in nature, and turned away the regular viewers and the only ones left standing were people who love Wendy Williams and those who just love trainwreck TV. 

Then we get yet another pointless title card.

And they take some crappy compatibility test that you'd find in any women's magazine that are created to make women more shrewd and men more pathetic in the women's eyes and somehow can legitimize men sleeping with men so that they don't have to take these stupid tests.  Love Triangle calls it the Soul Mate Survey.  God, not only is the show pathetic, but the names are twice as hollow as Wendy's boobs.  Anyways, the gist of it all is that Wendy asks a question with two answers and the two boyfriends/girlfriends of the one have to answer which one they would choose.  Then the one gives their answer and the survey is predictably done.

Not only that, they feel compelled to add stupid facts about the subjects they were talking about such as Money, Lifestyle and of course Sex.  If I wanted to get more info about those subjects, I'd rather read a book dealing with those subjects. 

Now we reach the pinnacle of why this show deserves the winning spot here.

Yes, we have a Lie Detector on this show, or as Ms. How Ya Doin' says, The Love Triangle Trusty Trustbuster Lie Detector.  Hey, Mark L. Walberg, got something to say?

"I want my gimmick back you pathetic excuse for a human being, if that is what you are."

Just seeing the lie detector wants to make me fall through one of his holes on Russian Roulette.  Basically its what you expect from any other Lie Detector show.  The one asks the two questions and then they answer and the lie detector says if they are telling the truth or not.

To be honest, I just view this as more unadulterated bull that they wanted to do just to expose more dirty secrets than Maury's show, or if you want to get more current, Steve Wilkos and newboy Jeremy Kyle.  Some of the stuff that is spouted is so outrageous that makes Wendy so excited, to the point of having her boobs growing 3 more inches saying that "that's why the Trustbuster Lie Detector is called The Trustbuster Lie Detector."  Seriously, it's just pathetic. 

Now we get to the final part of the show, the Future and yes, another crappy title card with no bearing whatsoever.

  For the next 2 minutes or so, Wendy would explain what the future would hold between her and one of the 2 people, complete with an ugly picture on what their children would look like.  Great, now she's stealing Ms. Cleo's gimmick? 

"Enough!  That's Enough!  That's Gimmick Infringement and you know it!"

Thank you Hunter.  BTW, I loved your match with CM Punk at Night of Champions, despite what the smarks say about the ending.

Now we get to The Decision....And our last crappy title card.  Yay.


And then we finally get to the game portion of the show, after 28 minutes of TV.  Pressing a button.  I guess they had to recycle some of the bits and pieces from How Much Is Enough in this show.  Hitting a button to get rid of the one that doesn't make the cut.  Then after all of that....

The loser gets shut out....literally.  And the other two win a day-trip to somewhere in Southern California.  They probably spent all their money on the non-facts, the lie detectors and the doors, or enough collagen to keep Wendy Williams smiling.

Thankfully that show is over, in more ways than one.  After the 32 episode run and one rerun cycle on weekdays, the show was cancelled on August 29th, sadly along with Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza.  The major problems lie with creating a show that nobody wanted to watch.  The ratings showed that people would rather watch Card Sharks at 10:00 in the morning.  Yes, Card Sharks reruns beat this show when new episodes were airing.  Not only that, Wendy Williams made me yearn for both Alfonso Ribeiro and Ross The Intern.  The show itself is like the biggest waste of space there was in TV, I mean it made Chelsea Handler's shows seem watchable, and that's impossible to do.  The set itself was ok, but forgettable.  And the whole thing just reeked of trying to turn Maury or Steve Wilkos into a game show, and failing miserably.  I'd like to think that GSN lost money on this show, with Wendy Williams and her husband Kevin Hunter taking out double paychecks throughout the proceedings.

So that is the 2nd Patrick Wayne Award induction and the first for GSN.  You don't know how close FOX was to repeating its own feat last year.  The distance...6 votes.  Let's see who wins year 3.

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