MMTV: Mediocre Music TV
Edition #15: American Idol: The First Auditions

Written by: Wences Acosta

Well So, this is the one time of year that I am scared of. While The X Factor (Both UK and US) are actually about finding a star, even their wipeouts actually seem like they are trying. American Idol is the one show that lost it's serious edge on Day 1. Let us all admit it, this show is the butt of all jokes, and we have all heard them or made them: How everyone that auditions has a gimmick or an inspirational story, how the voting is rigged, how the performances are usually not memorable, how the runner ups are more successful then the actual winners. Yet something in us as a country comes back every year, whether it be for punishment or because there is nothing else on TV on Wednesday and Thursday, we will never know. This night actually is one my roommates/boyfriend hate me for, because they HATE Idol. However, this is my job, and I must endure not only the audition process, but the "Hollywood" stage and The Finals. With that said, I am going to need alcohol soon, for this season I have created the American Idol drinking game. I can not do it this week, however these are the rules, 5 in total:

1. Take a shot for everytime somebody has an inspirational story
2. Take a shot for every bad/laughable performance
3. Take a shot for everytime Ryan Seacrest says something that only he thinks is funny
4. Take a shot for everytime Nicki changes wigs OR for everytime Nicki and Mariah fight this season
5. Take a Shot everytime Randy says Dawg or Yo

This should keep me pretty hammered for the season, don't you think? If you want to send me some liquor, let me know and I will do a live version of these taking shots throughout the night (Disclaimer from Wences: This is a stupid idea that can not end well, but should make for some very entertaining blogging experiences :P)

Forgive me if I forget a few auditions, but I am trying to get through these shows as quickly and painlessly as possible.

First up to bat is our usual goofball beginning with his rendition of "I Will Rock You", followed by an oldie that I can not understand, ending with a funny version of "Tempurature" from Sean Paul. Oh we are off to a fabulous start, luckily for me, we get our first good act of the year from somebody to went to Camp Mariah, and of course she went in. She was ok, but nothing over the top but good enough to make it to Hollywood. We get a montahe of people making it before we hit our first commercial break.

After the break, we get a chubby asian teen that wants to be the next Bieber, which while understandable, is nothing new. What is new is this kid's crush on Miss Roman, and how at the end even when he didn't make it, he said "At least Nicki Minaj kissed me". After that was a girl who was bullied in High School, but looks fabulous now and her voice is completely angelic. Her name is Christina something (I can't spell her last name), but the American Idol channel has her under Isabelle, and she is worth the watch.

Now here comes a rant: Evan Ruggiero. This kid has an inspiring story even for this show, and I actually felt for him. Here's where we get to the bad parts though, he comes out singing Jason Mraz "I'm Yours", which while I hate the song he does pretty decently. However, he puls out the guitar and my god does he do Bon Jovi justice. He didn't make it, but the argument is that he didn't have his niche going into this. I feel that if they put him through, he could have found that. I get where they are coming from, but I think this was the point where they were wrong.

Jessica Kartalis is another story that I feel is interesting. She was nominated by her mom to audition, and what that meant was that Randy went to see her perform and instead of going to open auditions, she went straight through to audition for the judges....and she was ok. All she did was she screwed up guitar chords, but she has potential, but not for this year. I want to see this girl next year, assuming there is a next year.

The musical house girl who was just ok.

Frankie Ford is next, and we have found the one person this year who will make me mad as all hell if he makes The Live SHows. I admire his story, and I see this kid actually having talent, but the major problem is that his audition song "Sweet Dreams" from Eurythmics was a slaughter. I see this kid having something special about him, but that was a bad introductions for America.

Ben Gaisly wins tonight for worst performance of the night, doing a Boyz 2 Men song followed by another song, followed by "Let Me Love You" from Mario, and it's just bad. With the next contestant, Brett Holt, at least when he failed, it was actually creative. Without giving away what happens, the actual video is worth looking up just to show you the power of editing.

The Montage of Badness has approached us, so let's just skip this...Ok, now we are getting our yearly dose of southern girl but with a twist. Let me explain, and I want you viewers to look her up, her name is Sarah Restuccio. She came out singing a Carrie Underwood song, which as we all know is predictable, but then she busts out some Nicki Minaj and does a version of "Super Bass"....*insert gay voice*.....Girl let me tell you what I think, You tha real deal, tha whole package, someone who swerved faster then you can say Vince Russo....*exit gay voice*....I am keeping my eyes on her and hoping for something from this woman.

Ashlee Feliciano is next, another inspiring story, and another beautiful voice. She chose "Put Your Records On" and it was just amazing. Along with Angela Miller, who had to overcome being partially deaf in both ears, She chose a Jessie J song that actually makes me LIKE the artist, which is incredible considering I never liked Jessie J until Now.

Final Performance of the Night.....The Turbanator. I don't like gimmicks, but I will admit this one made me giggle. His singing voice is actually pretty good, it is not good for this show that has been made famous for being loud, but his voice has a light tone to it that is great for this show.

Overall? This season may be painful as hell because of the judges, but the talent is really stepping up and I actually can not wait for more Idol.

If you have any opinions or comments, please let me know at Slackercub@yahoo.com